God Esteems Capitalists; Democrats, Not So Much - Pt I

It's an axiom in most major religions that God loves sinners, and therefore, God must love the likes of both, say, Democrats and Capitalists. The question is: does he love one of them more than the other? If one takes a Christian perspective, I believe the answer is clearly that he loves both equally. He is God, after all. That said, he does hold one in more esteem than the other, if we are to believe the Bible. God, as you will see, holds Capitalists in greater esteem than Democrats.

And for the sake of this exercise, we shall assume that Democrats and Capitalists are mutually exclusive, any evidence to the contrary notwithstanding.

For our proof, we shall draw on one of my favorite stories from the Bible having to do with Capitalists and Democrats, The Parable Of Jesus (The Parable of the Three Servants), Matthew 25:14-30:

For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made of them five additional talents. And likewise he that had received two, he also gained another two. But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.

After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. And so he that had received five talents came and brought another five talents, saying, "Lord, thou deliverest unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more". His lord said unto him, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord".

He also that had received two talents came and said, "Lord, thou deliverest unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them". His lord said unto him, "Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord".

Then he which had received the one talent came and said, "Lord, I knew thee that thou art a hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown; And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine". His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not: Thou ought therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury (interest). Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness, where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth".

One can draw several conclusions from this parable. First, God loves a man who invests. That's as clear as can be from the words of praise visited by The Master upon his first two servants. So, it is clear, God holds Capitalists in the greatest of esteem.

Second, He has little use for the Zero Sum mentality of the Democrat Party, which refuses to believe that Free Enterprise yields wealth. Just look at the way the Master treats the weaselly Democrat Doppelganger, Servant Number Three: "Thou wicked and slothful servant....Thou ought to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury (interest)."

In other words, if you weren't going to invest it and make it grow, you could at least have put it in the bank to draw interest.

So, the next time you hear Democrat politicians trying to convince you that Republicans increase the deficit by reducing taxes, remember that a) they are refuted in the Bible, b) they are contradicting God's Own Messenger and one of the Original Four, and c) they are likely in for some serious repercussions ("And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness, where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth"). I'm thinking at the very least, some version of an extended stay in Purgatory.

Third, God encourages poor people to get in the game. The Master entrusts his fortune to a bunch of poor lackeys, and they do him proud. This message in particular has to creep Democrats out, since it is their victimization of the poor that accounts for 50% of their electorate.

Fourth, the fact that God knows all is revealed to us once again in the subtext of this Parable, and His revealed wisdom is that Democrats can not be trusted. After all, was it any accident that - of the three servants - he gave the single Talent to the one who proceeded to fail him?

I think not.

Finally, God has no use for Slackers: "For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath".

Now, if you are not convinced of the reality of these propositions, given the proliferation of Democrats during your lifetime, it's important at this point to take an historical perspective; to look at the Big Picture, if you will. Granted, for the past 75 years, Democrats have done pretty much whatever they wanted to do, and wreaked havoc upon the Earth. But so it has forever been in the Kingdom of Man. Didn't Jesus himself say "render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's"? For the sake of this analogy, "Caesar" is Democrats. Caesar passed, and so to shall Democrat policies.

In conclusion, I might add that this Parable is incomplete. Surely somewhere is the inevitable Parable of the 4th servant: the one who stole 30 Talents from his master, then gave them to a bunch of bums who squandered them on lottery tickets and booze. Surely the wisdom of the Bible tells that story somewhere. No history of the Democrat Party would otherwise be complete.

Stay Tuned for Part II of "God Esteems Capitalists; Democrats - Not So Much"

Footnote I: Interesting to note that in this parable Matthew provides a direct refutation of Karl Marx, and, reveals Marx to be a vile little plagiarizer to boot. Matthew: "And unto one (servant) he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability". Now Marx: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need". Of course, Marx was encouraging class war and sloth, whereas Matthew was referring to the straightforward practice of exerting an honest effort and turning a profit.

As clear a refutation of the Socialist Blather of the Democrat Party (not to mention the modern Catholic Church) as can be found. Pope Benedict ought to be looking over his shoulder. I know John Paul II had some 'splaining to do, once he entered through the Pearly Gates.

Footnote II: There's also a version of the parable of the Master and 3 servants courtesy of Luke 19:12-27: The Parable of the Pounds, wherein it is revealed that a Talent is equivalent to three month's wages. So, we're not talking chump change here. A Talent is worth roughly Ten Grand.