With the Surge complete and the troop drawdown in progress, Iraq seems well on its way to becoming a functioning democracy, all thanks to the USA, and no thanks due to the likes of France, Russia, Germany, Turkey, China - or the Democrat Party.
Why mention those five countries in particular? Because they were to a large extent, a) the countries that were outright committed over the past 19 years to sabotaging America's efforts to battle Islamo-Fascism in the Middle East and, b) the countries that now stand to gain the most from contracts with Iraq and Iran to develop their oil fields. The Democrats role in this boondoggle we'll get to later.
Recent articles demonstrate the point. Iraq has awarded huge new oil production contracts to France, Russia and China, while American oil companies have been largely shut out of the process, and Turkey will benefit from the development of oil fields along their southern border with Iraq. Seems that Iraq, having recently acquired a keen sense of Ethics, has decided that the Occupiers should benefit not at all from the wealth that will flow thanks to their new-found political stability, all courtesy of the American taxpayer.
Meanwhile, Iran, the sole and unambiguous beneficiary of the overthrow of Iraq, has awarded huge oil contracts to China, Germany and Russia, and it's business as usual with Germany and France as Iran's largest trading partners for other industrial products and manufactured goods. Not that OffHisMeds is advocating for US trade with Iran. Rather, he wishes to point out the depravity of our so-called Allies as they allow us to spend hundreds of billions every year preventing war between Iraq and Iran, the result of which, perversely, is a gusher of economic opportunity in Iran, even as Iran provides the IEDs that weekly maim and murder American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.
OffHisMeds has only a few guidelines by which he lives, the first and foremost being The Golden Rule, which in Texanese can be summed up thusly: "Dance With The One That Brung You". Yet, in the world of commerce - or at least the post Iraq war version practiced by Democrats - not only is America relegated to the sidelines while Iran and Iraq enrich our adversaries, America is expected to pay for the dance.
It has ever been thus. Since World War I, the USA has blown the wealth of its citizens subsidizing a bunch of ingrates perfectly capable of fending for themselves but who, through a combination of ingrained fecklessness, self-regard and greed, have maneuvered themselves to the brink of disaster time and again. In return, they have demonstrated an almost endless capacity for allowing the USA to foot their bills and save their sorry hides, whilst simultaneously demonizing us for having done so. As the final insult, they elbow their way to the front of the line to benefit from the wealth that flows from our efforts.
This couldn't have happened without complicity from America, for which I give you: the Democrat Party. Functioning as the domestic arm of the Hate America crowd, Democrats have time and again painted the USA as beholden to Greedy American Corporations intent on World Economic Dominion. And while the Oil Companies have been their favorite target, Democrats have generously spread the defamation to any and all American corporations with an international footprint, destroying their competitiveness and thus threatening America's sovereignty.
The perfect expression of this insanity involves one of OHM's other favorite Metaphors: the story of The Little Red Hen. You remember her; she's the one that attempted repeatedly to get the other barnyard animals to help her grow the wheat, harvest the wheat, grind it into flour and bake it into bread. There were no Takers, and she ended up doing it all herself. However, when the bread was then to be eaten, the other barnyard animals lined up for their serving, and The Little Red Hen told them - in so many words - to pound sand.
For the purposes of clarity, America is The Little Red Hen, and the other barnyard animals are the Ingrate nations of Earth. That said, metaphors are rarely perfect in expressing reality, and this one breaks down at a certain point as well. In reality, not only were the other barnyard animals given their fair portion, they stole all of the bread from The Little Red Hen, criticized her for having made it in the first place, and demanded indignantly to know when there would be more.
Which brings me to my third favorite Metaphor: The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg. Thanks to Democrats' enthusiastic embracement of any and all who repudiate American Exceptionalism - not to mention those that actively seek its destruction - that Goose will soon not only stop laying Eggs, it will become a meal itself, at which time freedom and liberty will vanish from the Earth, and what remains will be whatever the hell our Opponents want it to be.
And only once America ceases to function as the guarantor of freedom and stability in the world will Democrats perceive any threat to themselves, and not a small percentage of their Elite members will look with satisfaction on their handiwork, exchanging toasts with their paymasters in China, The Middle East and Europe with whatever refreshment most appeals to the palates of Commies, Arab Sheiks or the Mafias run out of Brussels, and all so ably represented by the new head of the Democrat Party, the international crime lord and neo-fascist Poster Boy for the Hate America crowd, George Soros.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Property Tax Appraisers Can Blow Me
Over-appraisal of homes by HCAD (Harris County Appraisal District) isn't a new problem. As far back as the year 2000, former State Comptroller John Sharp, speaking to the League of Women Voters asked: "In the last six years around Texas, where did all the new property-tax money come from? 19% came from increases in tax rates; 81% came from increases in property valuation. The various Review Boards that appraise property values, he said, "are appointed by the folks who get the money, not the folks who give the money”.*1
That in a nutshell explains the dynamics of property tax appraisals: a cozy arrangement that results in a whole lot of featherbedding, and thousands per year out of your pocket.
We've been sold a bill of goods about the virtue of ever-escalating property tax values. Sure, that high valuation allowed folks to get a second mortgage or do a refi, leaving them flush with cash, but where are they now that property values have crashed, upside down on their loans and with their houses unsellable? It's a fool's bargain, and HCAD has been the biggest player in jacking up the valuations that made all the real estate speculation possible in the first place.
High property values aren't just bad, they're phony. It makes no more sense for the value of a home to increase 10% per year than it does for the value of a car to increase 10% per year. The big difference between a home and a car, of course, being that Harris County can't collect taxes off the value of your car, and thus has no reason to inflate its value.
I'm no fan of high property taxes (or any other type of taxes) because I'm no fan of the greedy politicians and other public servants that prosper off of them. Left unchecked, they are primarily responsible for the real estate bubble, never so evident than in their insane and totally unjustified increases for 2007 and 2008. John Sharp was spot-on in calling attention to the problem way back in 2000. Surely the Great Recession we're all suffering through is proof positive of that.
So, what to do?
First, a few facts:
- In 2001, Harris County's population was 3.4 million. In 2009, it stood at just over 4 million, an increase of about 20%. In that same period, Harris County spending has grown from $790 million to $1.32 billion. That's an increase of 68%, more than triple the rate of population growth. Cy-Fair ISD budgets have increased even more dramatically. In that same period, enrollment increased around 50%, from 71,000 to 105,000, but spending increased more than 100%, from under $300 million to over $600 million.
Bottom line, they rode the real estate bubble to hyper-inflate county government. No wonder they jacked your property values with little or no consideration of the fairness or ethics of doing so.
- Less than 15% of all TOP residents protested their taxes in those years.
- Appraised values for homes in TOP are all over the map. There is very little consistency in appraised values between very similar homes. The reason for this is that HCAD's strategy has been to hammer everybody with increases. The ones that protest get lower valuations. Those that don't protest, don't get lower valuations.
- HCAD raised taxes on our house an average of 5% from 2002 through 2006. They tried to raise them 10% in 2007 and 2008 - in the middle of the real estate bust. We protested our taxes in 2007 and 2008, and although we own one of the newest houses in TOP, our appraised value is at the median for the neighborhood, with a value of $186,000.00. In 2009, there was no proposed increase on our valuation.
- If we hadn't protested HCAD's assessments, our home would be appraised at over $260,000.00.
HCAD Secrets:
- You can get a reduction just for filing the protest. Based on my personal experience, if you take ten minutes to file the protest, you can have your valuation reduced at least 10% every year.
- You should be able to get a large reduction in your property value even if HCAD does not attempt to raise your rates. Use their unfair assessments from 2007 and 2008, when they jacked up values even as real estate trends showed housing values plummetting.
- HCAD has no firm basis for how they appraise your property. They attempt to compare your house to the profile of a similar residence, but it's very basic, and frequently flawed. If you do research on just a couple properties in your neighborhood with lower appraisals and claim that your home ought to be similarly appraised, they do not have the resources or the will to refute you.
- HCADs assumptions for increases in valuation are mostly fiction. Not once have they been able to show me where increasing home values in our neighborhood were based on any increase in market value.
- HCAD deals in Bad Faith. This one is a no-brainer. Were it otherwise, how could you get a reduction in your assessment just by showing up? HCAD counts on weary homeowners too tired to fight. It's a war of attrition. They're getting paid to show up; you're not.
Tips:
- Appealing your appraisal is easy. File your initial protest through "iSettle", HCAD's on-line tax protest link: http://www.hcad.org/. This puts HCAD on notice that you are protesting your valuation. It also puts the ball in their court to negotiate with you.
- There's four steps in the process: 1) file the appeal; 2) meet with Appraiser; 3) meet with Appraisal Review Board; 4) Arbitration Hearing or District Court. Here's the link that describes the process: http://www.hcad.org/pdf/resources/taxpayerremedies.pdf
In most instances, you'll never have to go farther than Step 3. Given the mood of taxpayers today, you might not have to go past Step 2 in order to get a satisfactory reduction.
- The first visit is with an Appraiser who has to justify your valuation vs. other similar properties. These folks are underequipped to deal with a motivated property owner. Go to the meeting with the Appraiser, even if you have a professional representing you. There's just nothing like having to stare a victim in the eye to put the wolves at a disadvantage.
- Pick just one or two properties in your neighborhood that appear to be similar to (or better) than yours, yet have lower valuations. Document those for the appraiser. Here's the link to do the research: http://www.hcad.org/records/Real.asp?search=addr. You can pull up the values of any street in the neighborhood or any in Harris County for that matter.
- NEVER settle for what the Appraiser offers. They have guidelines to live by, and those guidelines from HCAD are designed to offer the minimum and wear you down.
- The next step is to visit with the Appraisal Review Board, a three person panel that will try to give you the bum's rush. Be firm. If you aren't satisfied with their offer, tell them that you are willing to go to Arbitration, essentially a court hearing: you the property owner vs. HCAD.
- Hire a Specialist if you're not up to doing this yourself. They charge less than $100 to represent you, and their fee is typically a percentage of the first year's savings.
In 2008, I negated a 10% increase and negotiated a 20% reduction in my property values - over the phone. One five minute telephone call. It was clear from the conversation that the appraiser was reacting to a lot of popular anger by property owners over HCAD's unjustified increases of years' past.
One final observation: I don't believe appraised value by HCAD will affect the market value of your house if you want to sell. Prospective buyers are going to pay based on the value of your house and its amenities and the quality and location of the neighborhood. Bottom line, a low tax rate is going to INCREASE the market value of your house, not lower it.
Good luck with Tax Year 2010. HCAD isn't likely to raise your rates much, and might even offer to lower them, but rest assured, they're not going to offer anything near what is fair. I'd start planning my tax protest right now.
*1 http://www.hcadtea.org/Who_Can_We_Trust.htm
That in a nutshell explains the dynamics of property tax appraisals: a cozy arrangement that results in a whole lot of featherbedding, and thousands per year out of your pocket.
We've been sold a bill of goods about the virtue of ever-escalating property tax values. Sure, that high valuation allowed folks to get a second mortgage or do a refi, leaving them flush with cash, but where are they now that property values have crashed, upside down on their loans and with their houses unsellable? It's a fool's bargain, and HCAD has been the biggest player in jacking up the valuations that made all the real estate speculation possible in the first place.
High property values aren't just bad, they're phony. It makes no more sense for the value of a home to increase 10% per year than it does for the value of a car to increase 10% per year. The big difference between a home and a car, of course, being that Harris County can't collect taxes off the value of your car, and thus has no reason to inflate its value.
I'm no fan of high property taxes (or any other type of taxes) because I'm no fan of the greedy politicians and other public servants that prosper off of them. Left unchecked, they are primarily responsible for the real estate bubble, never so evident than in their insane and totally unjustified increases for 2007 and 2008. John Sharp was spot-on in calling attention to the problem way back in 2000. Surely the Great Recession we're all suffering through is proof positive of that.
So, what to do?
First, a few facts:
- In 2001, Harris County's population was 3.4 million. In 2009, it stood at just over 4 million, an increase of about 20%. In that same period, Harris County spending has grown from $790 million to $1.32 billion. That's an increase of 68%, more than triple the rate of population growth. Cy-Fair ISD budgets have increased even more dramatically. In that same period, enrollment increased around 50%, from 71,000 to 105,000, but spending increased more than 100%, from under $300 million to over $600 million.
Bottom line, they rode the real estate bubble to hyper-inflate county government. No wonder they jacked your property values with little or no consideration of the fairness or ethics of doing so.
- Less than 15% of all TOP residents protested their taxes in those years.
- Appraised values for homes in TOP are all over the map. There is very little consistency in appraised values between very similar homes. The reason for this is that HCAD's strategy has been to hammer everybody with increases. The ones that protest get lower valuations. Those that don't protest, don't get lower valuations.
- HCAD raised taxes on our house an average of 5% from 2002 through 2006. They tried to raise them 10% in 2007 and 2008 - in the middle of the real estate bust. We protested our taxes in 2007 and 2008, and although we own one of the newest houses in TOP, our appraised value is at the median for the neighborhood, with a value of $186,000.00. In 2009, there was no proposed increase on our valuation.
- If we hadn't protested HCAD's assessments, our home would be appraised at over $260,000.00.
HCAD Secrets:
- You can get a reduction just for filing the protest. Based on my personal experience, if you take ten minutes to file the protest, you can have your valuation reduced at least 10% every year.
- You should be able to get a large reduction in your property value even if HCAD does not attempt to raise your rates. Use their unfair assessments from 2007 and 2008, when they jacked up values even as real estate trends showed housing values plummetting.
- HCAD has no firm basis for how they appraise your property. They attempt to compare your house to the profile of a similar residence, but it's very basic, and frequently flawed. If you do research on just a couple properties in your neighborhood with lower appraisals and claim that your home ought to be similarly appraised, they do not have the resources or the will to refute you.
- HCADs assumptions for increases in valuation are mostly fiction. Not once have they been able to show me where increasing home values in our neighborhood were based on any increase in market value.
- HCAD deals in Bad Faith. This one is a no-brainer. Were it otherwise, how could you get a reduction in your assessment just by showing up? HCAD counts on weary homeowners too tired to fight. It's a war of attrition. They're getting paid to show up; you're not.
Tips:
- Appealing your appraisal is easy. File your initial protest through "iSettle", HCAD's on-line tax protest link: http://www.hcad.org/. This puts HCAD on notice that you are protesting your valuation. It also puts the ball in their court to negotiate with you.
- There's four steps in the process: 1) file the appeal; 2) meet with Appraiser; 3) meet with Appraisal Review Board; 4) Arbitration Hearing or District Court. Here's the link that describes the process: http://www.hcad.org/pdf/resources/taxpayerremedies.pdf
In most instances, you'll never have to go farther than Step 3. Given the mood of taxpayers today, you might not have to go past Step 2 in order to get a satisfactory reduction.
- The first visit is with an Appraiser who has to justify your valuation vs. other similar properties. These folks are underequipped to deal with a motivated property owner. Go to the meeting with the Appraiser, even if you have a professional representing you. There's just nothing like having to stare a victim in the eye to put the wolves at a disadvantage.
- Pick just one or two properties in your neighborhood that appear to be similar to (or better) than yours, yet have lower valuations. Document those for the appraiser. Here's the link to do the research: http://www.hcad.org/records/Real.asp?search=addr. You can pull up the values of any street in the neighborhood or any in Harris County for that matter.
- NEVER settle for what the Appraiser offers. They have guidelines to live by, and those guidelines from HCAD are designed to offer the minimum and wear you down.
- The next step is to visit with the Appraisal Review Board, a three person panel that will try to give you the bum's rush. Be firm. If you aren't satisfied with their offer, tell them that you are willing to go to Arbitration, essentially a court hearing: you the property owner vs. HCAD.
- Hire a Specialist if you're not up to doing this yourself. They charge less than $100 to represent you, and their fee is typically a percentage of the first year's savings.
In 2008, I negated a 10% increase and negotiated a 20% reduction in my property values - over the phone. One five minute telephone call. It was clear from the conversation that the appraiser was reacting to a lot of popular anger by property owners over HCAD's unjustified increases of years' past.
One final observation: I don't believe appraised value by HCAD will affect the market value of your house if you want to sell. Prospective buyers are going to pay based on the value of your house and its amenities and the quality and location of the neighborhood. Bottom line, a low tax rate is going to INCREASE the market value of your house, not lower it.
Good luck with Tax Year 2010. HCAD isn't likely to raise your rates much, and might even offer to lower them, but rest assured, they're not going to offer anything near what is fair. I'd start planning my tax protest right now.
*1 http://www.hcadtea.org/Who_Can_We_Trust.htm
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Art Of Tipping, Part I - The Rules
Among many other things, OffHisMeds considers himself to be an expert at Tipping. This is no mean feat, as there is no science to it, and varying standards around the country and around the world. For example, tipping in all of its forms is popular in the USA, while in many other countries, it is practiced nary at all. The reasons for not tipping vary, from a culture that simply doesn't promote tipping (Thailand), to a desire to be competitive for the World's travel dollar (Cruise Ships), to general cheapskatery (France). For whatever reason or reasons that America is so resonatingly different from the rest of the world on tipping, OffHisMeds considers this further proof of the concept of American Exceptionalism.
That is not an unmitigated virtue, by the way. OHM thinks Americans tip indiscriminately, albeit that our reasons for doing so are virtuous. In this most egalitarian of nations, the motivation to tip is good; the execution, though, frequently is not.
That said, what everybody has in common on tipping is an opinion, and we "experts" are simply people more ready to share that opinion than others. So, before we get down to the Nitty Gritty, let me offer one such opinion, which I call The Second Rule of Tipping: There is nothing sacred about a 15% tip. Now, before the Waitstaff Of America descend on me in an angry Virtual mob, I must explain that this observation cuts two ways: There's nothing that says you have to give 15%, and there's nothing that says you can't give more.
This brings us to The First Rule of Tipping: The tip must fit the service rendered. The most important favor you can do yourself is to think past the value of the service or the percentage of the tip, and focus instead on the money you're laying out. If you leave ten bucks, did you get ten bucks worth of service? If you leave fifty bucks, did you get fifty bucks worth of service? Remember, ten bucks is likely the average tip most folks leave to their paperboy (or person) for 365 days of paper delivery. Ten bucks is also frequently the tip for two at a middling-priced restaurant. That's one meal of service vs. one year of service.
Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
I've got a friend who relates all tipping back to a favored benchmark: a good blowjob, which he claims has a cash value of $50. He tells me that before he tips, he always asks himself this question: "Is this ten dollar tip as good as one fifth of a blowjob?" I've never bothered asking how he reached that conclusion and I'm a little disturbed at his value system, but the premise is solid: find any activity for which you would willingly part with money, and compare the value of that activity to the service being rendered by the Tippee. Me, I use a movie ticket, which coincidentally costs ten bucks, or 1/5th the going rate for a blow job, assuming I take my friend at his word.
You can see where I'm going here. Ten bucks gets you a 7500 calorie meal at Burger King complete with a large strawberry milkshake, a hot pie for dessert and a buck seventy back in your pocket; and ironically, nobody expects you to tip. Ten bucks gets you two decent haircuts from the gum-chewing Vietnamese chick down from my house. Ten bucks gets you four trips through the Magic Wand Car Wash if you work quickly. Ten bucks gets you the aforementioned movie ticket. Ten bucks will buy you 10 minutes of Jihadist indoctrination from a Major in the United States Army. Ten bucks will buy you 15 minutes of warm and nurturing psychobabble from a High School Grief Counselor. Ten bucks will buy you a single sideward glance from a United States Congressman as you pass him in a hallway....
Wait, strike those last three. I forgot our premise was comparing a tip to services you would willingly pay for, and unless any or all of the aforementioned Public Servants was willing to blow me, their actual value to society is lost on me and thus, worthy of no further discussion in this venue.
I guess we can only be thankful that Public Servants generally don't expect to be tipped, which would be the only form of compensation ever devised that is not explicitly written into their job descriptions; but hey, back to the topic at hand. To have a firm grasp on tipping, remember always that there must be a service rendered, and it should be worth the coin you lay out. Purge from your mind any and all etiquette and rhetoric about the necessity of tipping, established norms for whom to tip, and how much.
Screw all of that.
If we're going to realize our potential as a nation that is first amongst equals, and in the process defeat worldwide Communism, Islamic terrorism and the creeping horror that is the Democrat Party, we first need to become a nation of Discriminating Tippers.
Dispense with all preconceptions, and you shall be free.....
Be on the lookout for Part 2 - The Art Of Tipping - The Real World
That is not an unmitigated virtue, by the way. OHM thinks Americans tip indiscriminately, albeit that our reasons for doing so are virtuous. In this most egalitarian of nations, the motivation to tip is good; the execution, though, frequently is not.
That said, what everybody has in common on tipping is an opinion, and we "experts" are simply people more ready to share that opinion than others. So, before we get down to the Nitty Gritty, let me offer one such opinion, which I call The Second Rule of Tipping: There is nothing sacred about a 15% tip. Now, before the Waitstaff Of America descend on me in an angry Virtual mob, I must explain that this observation cuts two ways: There's nothing that says you have to give 15%, and there's nothing that says you can't give more.
This brings us to The First Rule of Tipping: The tip must fit the service rendered. The most important favor you can do yourself is to think past the value of the service or the percentage of the tip, and focus instead on the money you're laying out. If you leave ten bucks, did you get ten bucks worth of service? If you leave fifty bucks, did you get fifty bucks worth of service? Remember, ten bucks is likely the average tip most folks leave to their paperboy (or person) for 365 days of paper delivery. Ten bucks is also frequently the tip for two at a middling-priced restaurant. That's one meal of service vs. one year of service.
Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
I've got a friend who relates all tipping back to a favored benchmark: a good blowjob, which he claims has a cash value of $50. He tells me that before he tips, he always asks himself this question: "Is this ten dollar tip as good as one fifth of a blowjob?" I've never bothered asking how he reached that conclusion and I'm a little disturbed at his value system, but the premise is solid: find any activity for which you would willingly part with money, and compare the value of that activity to the service being rendered by the Tippee. Me, I use a movie ticket, which coincidentally costs ten bucks, or 1/5th the going rate for a blow job, assuming I take my friend at his word.
You can see where I'm going here. Ten bucks gets you a 7500 calorie meal at Burger King complete with a large strawberry milkshake, a hot pie for dessert and a buck seventy back in your pocket; and ironically, nobody expects you to tip. Ten bucks gets you two decent haircuts from the gum-chewing Vietnamese chick down from my house. Ten bucks gets you four trips through the Magic Wand Car Wash if you work quickly. Ten bucks gets you the aforementioned movie ticket. Ten bucks will buy you 10 minutes of Jihadist indoctrination from a Major in the United States Army. Ten bucks will buy you 15 minutes of warm and nurturing psychobabble from a High School Grief Counselor. Ten bucks will buy you a single sideward glance from a United States Congressman as you pass him in a hallway....
Wait, strike those last three. I forgot our premise was comparing a tip to services you would willingly pay for, and unless any or all of the aforementioned Public Servants was willing to blow me, their actual value to society is lost on me and thus, worthy of no further discussion in this venue.
I guess we can only be thankful that Public Servants generally don't expect to be tipped, which would be the only form of compensation ever devised that is not explicitly written into their job descriptions; but hey, back to the topic at hand. To have a firm grasp on tipping, remember always that there must be a service rendered, and it should be worth the coin you lay out. Purge from your mind any and all etiquette and rhetoric about the necessity of tipping, established norms for whom to tip, and how much.
Screw all of that.
If we're going to realize our potential as a nation that is first amongst equals, and in the process defeat worldwide Communism, Islamic terrorism and the creeping horror that is the Democrat Party, we first need to become a nation of Discriminating Tippers.
Dispense with all preconceptions, and you shall be free.....
Be on the lookout for Part 2 - The Art Of Tipping - The Real World
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Joe Biden Eulogizes His Mother
Vice President Joe Biden's mother, Catherine Eugenia "Jean" Finnegan Biden, died yesterday at age 92 in Wilmington, Delaware.
Speaking to a lobbying group just hours before the funeral, tears shining in his eyes, Mr. Biden spoke of "the strength of the woman, her commitment to family, God and Country. I well remember the time I was mocked by a seventh-grade nun for my stuttering; an incident that sent mother to my school in a fury, my siblings in tow. She told the nun: 'If you ever speak to my son like that again, I'll come back and rip that bonnet off your head. Do you understand me?' The nun had a look in her eye like, 'message received', and I never had a problem after that. That was Mom!", Biden said, to the delight of the audience.
Later in the speech, Mr. Biden spoke of "the role Mom played in the coup that put Juan Peron in power in Argentina in 1943, when a young Joe Biden suggested she use her influence to avoid bloodshed in that troubled region. I told her: 'Mom-Mom, people will die unless we intervene', and she did. And contrary to historical reports", said Biden, "Mom not only brokered the deal, she was actually the subject of the song 'don't cry for me, Argentina', and not Eva Peron."
When a reporter asked how it was that he could have such a conversation with his Mother since Mr. Biden was only one year old when these events occurred, Mr. Biden said that "Now is hardly the time or place for such questions......We are requesting a respite from the 24 hour Fox News cycle, so that we can grieve for our mother, who also brought peace to Northern Ireland after I showed her a term paper on the subject. I got an A on the paper, the only student to receive such a high mark."
At the funeral service, VP Biden delivered the eulogy and spoke of his mother's numerous accomplishments, noting that "Mom was the first legitimate female candidate for the Presidency near the end of Harry Truman's first term, running on the rejuvenated Bull Moose Party Ticket, and Teddy Roosevelt himself encouraged Mom to run." He told the assembled throng, "I well remember how, after that chat, he looked at me and told my mother 'this boy has a bright future in the service of this great nation.....he will go far.'"
As he emerged from the church after the Eulogy, Vice President Biden was pressed by reporters in attendance to clarify his earlier remarks, since Teddy Roosevelt died in 1919, 32 years before the alleged conversation took place. Biden pleaded for "an end to the savage partisanship that provokes such questions", and asked reporters that "instead, they consider how much more his mother could have done in this world if only Health Care reform had been passed before Christmas." When he was reminded that his mother was 92, independently wealthy and tended to by a round-the-clock nursing staff, Biden responded by saying "The force is strong in my family. My mother had it, I have it........and my twin sister has it."
Biden was rushed into a limousine by Secret Service agents before he could answer any further questions.
Speaking to a lobbying group just hours before the funeral, tears shining in his eyes, Mr. Biden spoke of "the strength of the woman, her commitment to family, God and Country. I well remember the time I was mocked by a seventh-grade nun for my stuttering; an incident that sent mother to my school in a fury, my siblings in tow. She told the nun: 'If you ever speak to my son like that again, I'll come back and rip that bonnet off your head. Do you understand me?' The nun had a look in her eye like, 'message received', and I never had a problem after that. That was Mom!", Biden said, to the delight of the audience.
Later in the speech, Mr. Biden spoke of "the role Mom played in the coup that put Juan Peron in power in Argentina in 1943, when a young Joe Biden suggested she use her influence to avoid bloodshed in that troubled region. I told her: 'Mom-Mom, people will die unless we intervene', and she did. And contrary to historical reports", said Biden, "Mom not only brokered the deal, she was actually the subject of the song 'don't cry for me, Argentina', and not Eva Peron."
When a reporter asked how it was that he could have such a conversation with his Mother since Mr. Biden was only one year old when these events occurred, Mr. Biden said that "Now is hardly the time or place for such questions......We are requesting a respite from the 24 hour Fox News cycle, so that we can grieve for our mother, who also brought peace to Northern Ireland after I showed her a term paper on the subject. I got an A on the paper, the only student to receive such a high mark."
At the funeral service, VP Biden delivered the eulogy and spoke of his mother's numerous accomplishments, noting that "Mom was the first legitimate female candidate for the Presidency near the end of Harry Truman's first term, running on the rejuvenated Bull Moose Party Ticket, and Teddy Roosevelt himself encouraged Mom to run." He told the assembled throng, "I well remember how, after that chat, he looked at me and told my mother 'this boy has a bright future in the service of this great nation.....he will go far.'"
As he emerged from the church after the Eulogy, Vice President Biden was pressed by reporters in attendance to clarify his earlier remarks, since Teddy Roosevelt died in 1919, 32 years before the alleged conversation took place. Biden pleaded for "an end to the savage partisanship that provokes such questions", and asked reporters that "instead, they consider how much more his mother could have done in this world if only Health Care reform had been passed before Christmas." When he was reminded that his mother was 92, independently wealthy and tended to by a round-the-clock nursing staff, Biden responded by saying "The force is strong in my family. My mother had it, I have it........and my twin sister has it."
Biden was rushed into a limousine by Secret Service agents before he could answer any further questions.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
McGwire The Pathological Liar
I can't tell you how many times OffHisMeds has written and re-written this Blog in the past two days. Why is that, you may ask? Is there some kind of conflict? Some kind of quandary? Perhaps, some vagrant guilt over our previous harsh words for Mark McGwire and other Steroid Cheats?
Hardly. The fact is that Mark McGwire's decades of Lies have reached the exalted and grandiloquent proportions of Lying previously only acheived by Politicians, and there's a real risk here to our National Mental Health. If McGwire gets away clean, Nancy Pelosi gets away clean; if Pelosi gets away clean, Harry Reid gets away clean.
Simply put: if Mark McGwire isn't lying, nobody's lying.
It's hard to believe that in the Wide World Of Professional Drub Abusers that there might be a bigger Schmuck than Barry Bonds, a Bigger Buffoon than Jose Canseco, or a Bigger Liar than Sammy Sosa. For that particular Trifecta, I give you the Sultan Of Sanctimony, Mark McGwire. Even as the St. Louis Cardinals polish the brass on his doorplate, and Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig prepares to invite McGwire back into polite society, OffHisMeds gives you a real portrait of the Poster Boy for All That Is Wrong With America, in his own words. In his third attempt to reinvent himself, McGwire recreates the Passion and other key moments in the life of Christ with himself in the starring role, then adopts the Persona of figures from history, popular culture and Myth:
The "I Coulda Been A Contender" Defense:
"McGwire didn’t know if his use of performance-enhancing drugs contributed to some of the injuries that led to his retirement, at age 38, in 2001. 'It could have. I don’t know,'" he said. He repeated this canard at least three times in recent days. This is not the first time McGwire has attempted to advance the argument that Steroids and HGH might have "shortened" his career. His sixteen year career. As in "1" followed by a "6"; As in, virtually nobody's career lasts that long.
By his own admission, McGwire juiced on and off for 14 years of those sixteen starting in 1989, and copped that he took 'Roids for injuries that practically ended his career in 1993. He was miraculously cured directly afterwards. OHM would also like to point out the complicity of reporters in even providing him an opportunity to put forward the theory that McGwire might actually have hit MORE home runs if he had never Juiced.
Amazingly, McGwire is the only Steroid Abuser so far that has been fed such a Rhetorical Softball. This isn't Reporting; it's Journalistic Malpractice, with the full cooperation of MLB. Roger Clemens must have gagged on his Wheaties when he read that one.
The "I Am The Son Of Thor, You Cannot Deny My Power!" Defense:
- “I truly believe I was given the gifts from the Man Upstairs of being a home run hitter, ever since birth,” McGwire said. “My first hit as a Little Leaguer was a home run. I mean, they still talk about the home runs I hit in high school, in Legion ball. I led the nation in home runs in college, and then all the way up to my rookie year, 49 home runs."
The conclusion we're allowed to draw here by his Omnipotence is that, having hit 49 dingers in his rookie year, his natural abilities would have inevitably led to him hitting 71; except of course that in the next two years he hit 32 and 33. Then he got back on Steroids, and his production skyrocketed.
Coincidence? Only in the mind of Mark McGwire.
The Adolf Eichmann "I Vas Only Following Orders!" Defense:
- "The only reason I took steroids was for health purposes."
- "Anybody that was in my shoes would have done the same exact thing".
- " I had injuries in '93, '94, 96, so I took steroids. I was a walking MASH unit........the wear and tear of a 162 game season, the injuries I was subject to, I wanted to retire. I talked to my Dad about my injuries in 1996; My Dad told me to 'stick it out'."
Amazing. Did I really just hear this guy tell the world that his Father encouraged him to abuse Steroids for health reasons? Yes, yes I did.
The "David Copperfield Makes An Elephant Disappear" Defense:
Costas: "Canseco says 'Right before a game, we would load up our syringes, and inject ourselves'" (referring to himself and McGwire).
McGwire: "There is absolutely no truth to that whatsoever!"
Costas: "Why would Jose Canseco say that?"
McGwire: "He's trying to sell a book".
This one requires no explanation, but OffHisMeds can't help himself. What could be the possible purpose of Costas feeding him yet another irrelevant Softball question, other than to distract attention from the hundreds of times he DID juice, and to prop McGwire up at Canseco's expense? Let us remember that Canseco is by far the only person who has told ANY truth about Steroid Abuse.
The questions Costas doesn't ask? How many times did you take Steroids? How many times did you take HGH? Did the use of these drugs coincide with your home run production?
The "I Was Kidnapped By Aliens" Defense:
“I’m sure people will wonder if I could have hit all those home runs had I never taken steroids,” McGwire said in his statement. “I had good years when I didn’t take any, and I had bad years when I didn’t take any. I had good years when I took steroids, and I had bad years when I took steroids. But no matter what, I shouldn’t have done it and for that I’m truly sorry.”
Now, if you view these comments through the rose-colored glasses McGwire insists we don because he has said "I'm sorry", this sounds like a pretty straightforward admission of guilt. But what McGwire does is attempt to inflict on us the same moral confusion he's allowed himself all these years. His statement above contains at least three bald-faced lies, and defies the provable coincidence of his drug-taking and his performance. It also contradicts his prior statements that leg injuries in 1993 threatened his career.
That's not the end of it, however. No, for me, the 560 foot solo shot of a lie is his assertion that "I had bad years when I took steroids". There is not a shred of evidence that this is true.
The "Norman Bates 'See, He Wouldn't Even Hurt A Little Fly!' Defense":
- “This has nothing to do with the Hall of Fame,” he said. “This has to do with me coming clean, getting it off my chest, and five years that I’ve held this in.”
- "I faced possible criminal prosecution.....and testimony before Congress. I had to protect my family and my friends".
Excuse me? In making the first statement, what could McGwire possibly be saying other than that he thought it was OK to lie up until his 2005 congressional testimony? Even when he tells the truth, he tells a lie. And that crap about facing criminal prosecution and protecting his family? All lies. He would have been lionized for honest testimony back in 2005, instead of the awful succession of weasel words he used, and his family was under no danger of prosecution, UNLESS MCGWIRE CONTINUED TO LIE!
How delusional does he need to be to think that his most recent comments in any way square him with Baseball fans, much less the Widow of Roger Maris? The disconnect is startling. Just compare his remarks when the scandal first broke, and his eight year silence in between. And are we supposed to ignore the fact that the only plausible reason he is "coming clean" now is that he wanted back in to Baseball society?
There's a bigger concern. If he is not Delusional, if his every move and statement for the past twenty plus years has been, as they appear to be, damage control, that makes McGwire an outright Sociopath, and not to be trusted in the presence of small children or within 500 feet of any public playground. And if he is simply Delusional, you still don't trust him around children.
Lest you think I'm being too harsh on Mark McGwire, I'll grant that a little perspective is in order. First, consider that Mark McGwire was one of at least 300 active drug abusers in Major League Baseball, only a fraction of which will ever be identified. Consider next that every player in MLB, every player in Minor League Baseball, all of the managers, all of the executives, all of the Owners and all of the Sportswriters also knew that Steroids were being abused, yet they remained silent - for a decade.
That includes, by the way, the supposedly "courageous" Curt Schilling, who in recent years has the reputation for speaking out first and loudest on drug abuse, flogging those that did use them and demanding that they be denied the Hall Of Fame.
That's great, Curt. Where the hell were you in 1991?
Lastly, consider that the great majority that were not abusing drugs not only didn't talk about it, they made no effort to clean the mess up internally. What would have prevented any of these guys from having a heart-to-heart with McGwire, Bonds, Sosa or anybody else that had transformed themselves from normal size baseball players into Freaks of nature? It's strange to think that Jose Canseco, of all people, is without qualification the only person who's demonstrated anything approaching integrity. It's strange to think that he's a person of better character - by far - than, say, Craig Biggio.
So, is Mark McGwire still the worst of the lot, deserving of ignominy and ostracization? Yes, yes he is. But there's not really that much that separates him and the most saintly of his peers.
And now that OffHisMeds has completed his Meditation on this subject, he is cheered - as should you be - that this whole stink is over something as insignificant as Entertainment. Baseball players inflating their stats with drugs and then lying about it makes as much difference as Hollywood Starlets scoring a big movie payday with Plastic Surgery and then lying about it; which is to say, it's not very relevant at all.
If you want to talk about lies that matter, let's deal with politicians, as OffHisMeds has in the past, and will in the future.
Hardly. The fact is that Mark McGwire's decades of Lies have reached the exalted and grandiloquent proportions of Lying previously only acheived by Politicians, and there's a real risk here to our National Mental Health. If McGwire gets away clean, Nancy Pelosi gets away clean; if Pelosi gets away clean, Harry Reid gets away clean.
Simply put: if Mark McGwire isn't lying, nobody's lying.
It's hard to believe that in the Wide World Of Professional Drub Abusers that there might be a bigger Schmuck than Barry Bonds, a Bigger Buffoon than Jose Canseco, or a Bigger Liar than Sammy Sosa. For that particular Trifecta, I give you the Sultan Of Sanctimony, Mark McGwire. Even as the St. Louis Cardinals polish the brass on his doorplate, and Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig prepares to invite McGwire back into polite society, OffHisMeds gives you a real portrait of the Poster Boy for All That Is Wrong With America, in his own words. In his third attempt to reinvent himself, McGwire recreates the Passion and other key moments in the life of Christ with himself in the starring role, then adopts the Persona of figures from history, popular culture and Myth:
The "I Coulda Been A Contender" Defense:
"McGwire didn’t know if his use of performance-enhancing drugs contributed to some of the injuries that led to his retirement, at age 38, in 2001. 'It could have. I don’t know,'" he said. He repeated this canard at least three times in recent days. This is not the first time McGwire has attempted to advance the argument that Steroids and HGH might have "shortened" his career. His sixteen year career. As in "1" followed by a "6"; As in, virtually nobody's career lasts that long.
By his own admission, McGwire juiced on and off for 14 years of those sixteen starting in 1989, and copped that he took 'Roids for injuries that practically ended his career in 1993. He was miraculously cured directly afterwards. OHM would also like to point out the complicity of reporters in even providing him an opportunity to put forward the theory that McGwire might actually have hit MORE home runs if he had never Juiced.
Amazingly, McGwire is the only Steroid Abuser so far that has been fed such a Rhetorical Softball. This isn't Reporting; it's Journalistic Malpractice, with the full cooperation of MLB. Roger Clemens must have gagged on his Wheaties when he read that one.
The "I Am The Son Of Thor, You Cannot Deny My Power!" Defense:
- “I truly believe I was given the gifts from the Man Upstairs of being a home run hitter, ever since birth,” McGwire said. “My first hit as a Little Leaguer was a home run. I mean, they still talk about the home runs I hit in high school, in Legion ball. I led the nation in home runs in college, and then all the way up to my rookie year, 49 home runs."
The conclusion we're allowed to draw here by his Omnipotence is that, having hit 49 dingers in his rookie year, his natural abilities would have inevitably led to him hitting 71; except of course that in the next two years he hit 32 and 33. Then he got back on Steroids, and his production skyrocketed.
Coincidence? Only in the mind of Mark McGwire.
The Adolf Eichmann "I Vas Only Following Orders!" Defense:
- "The only reason I took steroids was for health purposes."
- "Anybody that was in my shoes would have done the same exact thing".
- " I had injuries in '93, '94, 96, so I took steroids. I was a walking MASH unit........the wear and tear of a 162 game season, the injuries I was subject to, I wanted to retire. I talked to my Dad about my injuries in 1996; My Dad told me to 'stick it out'."
Amazing. Did I really just hear this guy tell the world that his Father encouraged him to abuse Steroids for health reasons? Yes, yes I did.
The "David Copperfield Makes An Elephant Disappear" Defense:
Costas: "Canseco says 'Right before a game, we would load up our syringes, and inject ourselves'" (referring to himself and McGwire).
McGwire: "There is absolutely no truth to that whatsoever!"
Costas: "Why would Jose Canseco say that?"
McGwire: "He's trying to sell a book".
This one requires no explanation, but OffHisMeds can't help himself. What could be the possible purpose of Costas feeding him yet another irrelevant Softball question, other than to distract attention from the hundreds of times he DID juice, and to prop McGwire up at Canseco's expense? Let us remember that Canseco is by far the only person who has told ANY truth about Steroid Abuse.
The questions Costas doesn't ask? How many times did you take Steroids? How many times did you take HGH? Did the use of these drugs coincide with your home run production?
The "I Was Kidnapped By Aliens" Defense:
“I’m sure people will wonder if I could have hit all those home runs had I never taken steroids,” McGwire said in his statement. “I had good years when I didn’t take any, and I had bad years when I didn’t take any. I had good years when I took steroids, and I had bad years when I took steroids. But no matter what, I shouldn’t have done it and for that I’m truly sorry.”
Now, if you view these comments through the rose-colored glasses McGwire insists we don because he has said "I'm sorry", this sounds like a pretty straightforward admission of guilt. But what McGwire does is attempt to inflict on us the same moral confusion he's allowed himself all these years. His statement above contains at least three bald-faced lies, and defies the provable coincidence of his drug-taking and his performance. It also contradicts his prior statements that leg injuries in 1993 threatened his career.
That's not the end of it, however. No, for me, the 560 foot solo shot of a lie is his assertion that "I had bad years when I took steroids". There is not a shred of evidence that this is true.
The "Norman Bates 'See, He Wouldn't Even Hurt A Little Fly!' Defense":
- “This has nothing to do with the Hall of Fame,” he said. “This has to do with me coming clean, getting it off my chest, and five years that I’ve held this in.”
- "I faced possible criminal prosecution.....and testimony before Congress. I had to protect my family and my friends".
Excuse me? In making the first statement, what could McGwire possibly be saying other than that he thought it was OK to lie up until his 2005 congressional testimony? Even when he tells the truth, he tells a lie. And that crap about facing criminal prosecution and protecting his family? All lies. He would have been lionized for honest testimony back in 2005, instead of the awful succession of weasel words he used, and his family was under no danger of prosecution, UNLESS MCGWIRE CONTINUED TO LIE!
How delusional does he need to be to think that his most recent comments in any way square him with Baseball fans, much less the Widow of Roger Maris? The disconnect is startling. Just compare his remarks when the scandal first broke, and his eight year silence in between. And are we supposed to ignore the fact that the only plausible reason he is "coming clean" now is that he wanted back in to Baseball society?
There's a bigger concern. If he is not Delusional, if his every move and statement for the past twenty plus years has been, as they appear to be, damage control, that makes McGwire an outright Sociopath, and not to be trusted in the presence of small children or within 500 feet of any public playground. And if he is simply Delusional, you still don't trust him around children.
Lest you think I'm being too harsh on Mark McGwire, I'll grant that a little perspective is in order. First, consider that Mark McGwire was one of at least 300 active drug abusers in Major League Baseball, only a fraction of which will ever be identified. Consider next that every player in MLB, every player in Minor League Baseball, all of the managers, all of the executives, all of the Owners and all of the Sportswriters also knew that Steroids were being abused, yet they remained silent - for a decade.
That includes, by the way, the supposedly "courageous" Curt Schilling, who in recent years has the reputation for speaking out first and loudest on drug abuse, flogging those that did use them and demanding that they be denied the Hall Of Fame.
That's great, Curt. Where the hell were you in 1991?
Lastly, consider that the great majority that were not abusing drugs not only didn't talk about it, they made no effort to clean the mess up internally. What would have prevented any of these guys from having a heart-to-heart with McGwire, Bonds, Sosa or anybody else that had transformed themselves from normal size baseball players into Freaks of nature? It's strange to think that Jose Canseco, of all people, is without qualification the only person who's demonstrated anything approaching integrity. It's strange to think that he's a person of better character - by far - than, say, Craig Biggio.
So, is Mark McGwire still the worst of the lot, deserving of ignominy and ostracization? Yes, yes he is. But there's not really that much that separates him and the most saintly of his peers.
And now that OffHisMeds has completed his Meditation on this subject, he is cheered - as should you be - that this whole stink is over something as insignificant as Entertainment. Baseball players inflating their stats with drugs and then lying about it makes as much difference as Hollywood Starlets scoring a big movie payday with Plastic Surgery and then lying about it; which is to say, it's not very relevant at all.
If you want to talk about lies that matter, let's deal with politicians, as OffHisMeds has in the past, and will in the future.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
What Is The World Coming To?
Couldn't believe this one when I read it, although as a long-time Jumble fan, I agree with Arnold:
Associated Press: 1-9-10
Tribune Media Services, publisher of the newspaper word game "Jumble", confirmed that creators Henri Arnold and Bob Lee were recently involved in a fistfight at their New York City studio. There was no report as to their specific injuries, but both Arnold (74) and Lee (82) were taken to the emergency room for treatment.
An anonymous source within Tribune indicated that the fight was the result of a long-simmering feud between the two over the direction of the Jumble franchise. Jumble is a popular word game found next to the Crossword Puzzle in over 1000 newspapers nationwide; Arnold and Lee have collaborated on the game since 1954. In the weekday version, Readers are challenged to unscramble four words, and then combine letters from each word to solve the puzzle at the end. The Sunday version features six words.
"Henri Arnold wanted to change the game, including words of up to seven letters", said the source. "He also advocated for the inclusion of Proper Names and Place Names, claiming that in the 55 years the game had been in print, they had 'used up' all the good five and six letter words. Lately, he has also advocated for less 'corny' Jumble puzzles, and insisted that they include socially responsible messages on issues such as preserving the environment".
The Source added that "Bob Lee was the self-avowed brains behind the franchise. He composed the Jumble words and the Puzzle, which has traditionally been a pun. He was deadset against any changes, and resented Arnold's attempts to 'refresh the format'. The fist fight occurred this past Monday when Arnold insisted on being allowed to pick words for the daily puzzle, and demanded that they stop using words with the letter 'q' in them".
This is not the first controversy for Arnold and Lee. Both were called before HUAC (the House Un-American Activities Committee) in 1955 for suspected ties to the Communist Party. Arnold was briefly blacklisted by the Hollywood Writers Guild after his appearance for refusing to answer questions regarding his alleged involvement in a Cartoonist and Animators strike against the Disney Studios in 1941, as well as his long-time friendship with Dalton Trumbo, one of the 'Hollywood Ten'. The duo responded with a Jumble strip which ridiculed Chairman Joseph McCarthy.
No further action was taken by the Committee.
The duo released a "Best Of Jumble" coffee table book in July of 2008. Sales of the book are reported by Tribune Media Services as 'modest'.
Associated Press: 1-9-10
Tribune Media Services, publisher of the newspaper word game "Jumble", confirmed that creators Henri Arnold and Bob Lee were recently involved in a fistfight at their New York City studio. There was no report as to their specific injuries, but both Arnold (74) and Lee (82) were taken to the emergency room for treatment.
An anonymous source within Tribune indicated that the fight was the result of a long-simmering feud between the two over the direction of the Jumble franchise. Jumble is a popular word game found next to the Crossword Puzzle in over 1000 newspapers nationwide; Arnold and Lee have collaborated on the game since 1954. In the weekday version, Readers are challenged to unscramble four words, and then combine letters from each word to solve the puzzle at the end. The Sunday version features six words.
"Henri Arnold wanted to change the game, including words of up to seven letters", said the source. "He also advocated for the inclusion of Proper Names and Place Names, claiming that in the 55 years the game had been in print, they had 'used up' all the good five and six letter words. Lately, he has also advocated for less 'corny' Jumble puzzles, and insisted that they include socially responsible messages on issues such as preserving the environment".
The Source added that "Bob Lee was the self-avowed brains behind the franchise. He composed the Jumble words and the Puzzle, which has traditionally been a pun. He was deadset against any changes, and resented Arnold's attempts to 'refresh the format'. The fist fight occurred this past Monday when Arnold insisted on being allowed to pick words for the daily puzzle, and demanded that they stop using words with the letter 'q' in them".
This is not the first controversy for Arnold and Lee. Both were called before HUAC (the House Un-American Activities Committee) in 1955 for suspected ties to the Communist Party. Arnold was briefly blacklisted by the Hollywood Writers Guild after his appearance for refusing to answer questions regarding his alleged involvement in a Cartoonist and Animators strike against the Disney Studios in 1941, as well as his long-time friendship with Dalton Trumbo, one of the 'Hollywood Ten'. The duo responded with a Jumble strip which ridiculed Chairman Joseph McCarthy.
No further action was taken by the Committee.
The duo released a "Best Of Jumble" coffee table book in July of 2008. Sales of the book are reported by Tribune Media Services as 'modest'.
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