When a Democrat is Captain of the Starship Enterprise

"Captain, a ship is approaching"

"Hale them, Ensign"

"No answer, sir; They're charging weapons"

"Hail them on all frequencies, Ensign!"

"They're firing sir; Direct hits on all decks; No answer to our hail"

"Helm, get us out of here, Warp 4!"

"We've been hit; Warp is off line, Sir"

"Impulse power!"

"Off line Sir"

"Thrusters then!"

"Also off line Sir"

"Comm, any answer to our hails?"

"No answer Sir.  They're coming around"

"Phasers and Photon Torpedos!  Prepare a warning shot!"

"Weapons are off line Sir"

"Dammit!  There has to be a way to communicate with them!"

"Perhaps if you were to do the fucking Macarena Sir"

"What was that Ensign?"

"Nothing Sir; Phasers back on line; Targeting their reactor core"

"Belay that Ensign!  I'm not risking interstellar war!"

"There's always the Macarena Sir"

"What was that Ensign?"

"Nothing Sir"