Democrats And Soccer, Pt. II

In a post a few Blogs back, I compared the Democrat Party to Soccer, and remarked on the amazing number of similarities between the two: useless, boring, insipid, egalitarian, riven with esteem issues and absolutely devoted to screwing up the lives of people who devote themselves to more normal forms of sport or, well, political discourse.

Like vengeful Hall Monitors, Democrats and Soccer Enthusiasts are only happy if everybody is as miserable as they are. I mean, think about it: How else are we supposed to feel about people who devote themselves not only to ensuring that the opposition doesn't score, but that nobody scores? When was the last time you saw a riot inside a football stadium, much less at a Republican political convention? And when somebody in the NFL or MLB commits the equivalent of an Own Goal (Leon Lett & Jose Canseco come to mind), do the fans rise up and murder them, as they routinely do soccer players? As the Clintons did Vince Foster and former secretary of Commerce Ron Brown?

Say what you will, but normal American sports such as Football and Baseball and normal political parties such as the Republicans don't have to carry near the liability insurance that, say, Manchester United or the Kennedy family do.

And would it be impolitic of me to point out that Barack Obama, while not having killed anybody yet, has built up quite a record for throwing his nominees for the cabinet and sundry appointees to other high office under the bus at the first sign of controversy, and for offenses a lot less, well, offensive than whatever the political equivalent of an Own Goal might be? Put it this way: given the number of times in just the last month that Joe Biden has put his foot in Barack Obama's mouth, I wouldn't rule out an untimely accident for our V.P., were he to commit that Own Goal.

And it's not a matter of if Biden will do this, but when.

Which brings us back to what Democrats and Sociologists so lovingly refer to as Root Causes. The source of such anti-social behavior can only be attributed to one thing: Self Esteem issues. The proof is at this website:

http://www.ffps.org/?gclid=CMfgovGs5ZgCFRIcawodsHGJcw

Fun, fair, positive? Wasn't it bad enough when it was not only crushingly boring but likely to cause brain damage as well? I'm referring to Soccer, of course, but it's not too much of a stretch to assume otherwise. Now, organized Soccer for kids must also be inclusive, uplifting and Doggone It, Positive! With equal playing time for all.

At long last, we are no longer left to wonder if Democrats are more drawn to Soccer, or why.