Don't You Mess With My GIQ, Wendy Davis

Regarding "Controversy may be brewing over big beer" (Monday page B2) Democratic gubernatorial candidate and current state senator Wendy Davis and her ilk perpetuate several stereotypes and misconceptions in their efforts to stigmatize the sale and consumption of the 40 oz. bottles of "big beers" described in the article. 

 First off, it's important to know that none of them are beer.  They are all a tasty variant known as Malt Liquor, generally 6 to 7% alcohol content.  Second, while the packaging and potency may feed into Davis' narrative of hooch-swilling bums on street corners, nothing could be further from the truth.  As a malt liquor consumer of some 40 years, I can tell you that people who enjoy "GIQs" are subtle drinkers with a refined palate.  Third, there's a reason the bottle has a cap: nobody consumes a GIQ at one sitting.  Like a good bottle of wine, it is served in moderate quantities and savored, the robust bouquet rolled over the tongue, as one would a fine Shiraz or Cabernet.

 

Fourth, my early appreciation of Malt Liquor has not only improved my cultural IQ, it has made me smarter as well.  I recall with fondness the second or third time I had a bottle of malt liquor, sipping it in the company of a newspaper vendor at the corner of Woodward and Seven Mile in Detroit back in the early 70s.  I told my companion I was curious why the bottles were packaged at 40 ounces.  Titus informed me that 40 fluid ounces was known as the Imperial Quart, that the 40 oz. measure was established back in the days of medieval kings of England, and that the term GIQ - "Government Imperial Quart" - was coined by the British department of systems of measurement early in the 19th century.  

Try finding all that on the Internet in one place.  Titus was the Sage of Seven Mile.

 

Finally, I advise Ms Davis to contemplate Malt Liquor's almost mystical versatility: you can sip it like champagne, you can drink it like a beer, and it works great as a mixer.  Combined with orange juice, it produces a refreshing year round drink called the Brass Monkey that will make you swear off Mimosas forever, and at a fraction of the cost.  In fact, there is a running club of the same name up in The Woodlands that took their name from the drink.  They count several Marathoners in their ranks, and run brutal seven to ten mile cross country runs knowing that a tasty blend of Malt Liquor and OJ is waiting at the end to slake their thirst and restore their good health.  Don't take my word for it though - you can look them up.

 

In conclusion, if Wendy Davis is going to crack down on the sale of Malt Liquor, she should know that she's messing not only with discriminating consumers, but centuries of tradition as well.  She should also be prepared to  crack down on two liter bottles of wine - greater in volume and with much higher alcohol content - regardless of how many suburban housewives she ticks off.  Malt Liquor drinkers deserve at least the same benefit of the doubt as the voting bloc she hopes will sweep her into the governor's chair.

 

Pete Smith

Houston, TX

LTE: NASA Simply Adrift

I do admire a good editor.  This is what got published in the Chronicle.  Just below is what I wrote:

Simply adrift

Let's move past NASA Administrator Charles Bolden's astonishing claim that NASA is adrift because Republicans don't like the president. The truth of the matter is that NASA is moribund because of the actions of the president.

President Obama killed the decade-long and bipartisan program to establish a base on the moon and replaced it with nothing.

Obama then killed the shuttle program and replaced it with "private" companies that, ironically, charge more per pound to deliver cargo to the space station than the shuttle. Those two actions set back our space program by a generation.

All told, though, the decision to collaborate with the Russians on the ISS was a bipartisan $140 billion blunder that resulted in America losing control of its destiny in space.

Now Russia's solution is to use the ISS in another collaboration on a next-generation space station. No doubt America will be expected to pay for 90 percent of that venture too. We must learn from our mistakes and let the ISS - and our partnership with Russia - plunge into the sea. Then we need to start over, free from the likes of Vladimir Putin.

Pete Smith, Houston
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

May 18

Regarding "AS NASA SEEKS NEXT MISSION, RUSSIA HOLDS TRUMP CARD" (Sunday Front Page), let's move past NASA Administrator Charles Bolden's astonishing claim that NASA is adrift because “Republicans don’t like the president".  The truth of the matter is that NASA is moribund because of the actions of the president.  President Obama killed the decade-long and bipartisan program to establish a base on the moon, and replaced it with - nothing.  Obama then killed the Shuttle program and replaced it with "private" companies who, ironically, cost more per pound to deliver cargo to the space station than the Shuttle.  Those two actions set back our space program by a generation. 

 

Bolden himself has been the poster child for fecklessness.  His vision for NASA seems to be nothing more than making it an extension of the Environmental Protection Agency and advocating for using NASA's resources in outreach programs to Muslims. 

 

All told, though, the decision to collaborate with the Russians on the ISS was a bipartisan $140 Billion dollar blunder that resulted in America losing control of its destiny in space.  Now Russia's solution is to use the ISS in another collaboration on a next generation space station.  No doubt America will be expected to pay for 90% of that venture too.  We must learn from our mistakes and let the ISS - and our partnership with Russia - plunge into the sea.  Then we need to start over, free from the likes of Vladimir Putin.

Pete Smith

Maybe The Astros Could Be On The Front Page?

In the sports section Tuesday I read a riveting article titled "Keuchel nearly goes distance in another gem".   It told the amazing story of the most dominant pitcher in baseball playing for the worst team in baseball.  It told of an amazing 21 innings that the Houston Astro's Dallas Keuchel had gone without surrendering a single run, and provided details on his eight strikeout, one walk performance.  The article even revealed that Keuchel's scoreless streak was not ended by Keuchel, but by the pitcher who came into the ninth inning to relieve him.

 

Finally, the article reported this to be the Astro's 3rd win in a row, on the road, against one of the most talented teams in baseball.   My question is, why was this awesome stuff relegated to Page C5?

 

Pete Smith

Houston, TX

NASA Is Not A Jobs Program

Regarding "Save the ISS" (Sunday page B15), while this editorial is well-meaning, the conclusion that the ISS needs to be funded so that Houston doesn't lose jobs is part of the reason NASA is in trouble in the first place.  NASA is not a jobs program, it is a space exploration program, and while it is true that lack of adequate funding for NASA is a problem, the real challenge is that NASA has nothing resembling a plan.  In 2009, the Obama Administration fecklessly cancelled a decade of effort to establish a colony on the moon, and replaced it with - nothing.  It then cancelled the Space Shuttle and underfunded any replacement, leaving us at the mercy of the Russians for transporting our astronauts.

 

Those mistakes pale in comparison, though, with the bipartisan blunder we made twenty years ago when we handed control of the space station to the Russians by letting them provide the one indispensable module in the entire system.  The result has been the gross extortion now on display.  Russia's every move is designed to destroy the American space program, and throwing more money at the ISS simply makes that simpler.  We need to cut our losses, dump the ISS a few years early, and make the next system a 100% American controlled enterprise.  But before we do any of that, we need a plan.

 

We need to commit ourselves to the one objective that everyone can agree on, and that would be the cornerstone for space exploration for generations to come: planetary defense.  We've got the smarts and the technology to develop a system to protect the planet from a devastating meteor or comet strike.  We need to start now, and then let the rest of the world get on board.

 

Pete Smith

Houston, TX

We Come Today Not To Praise Dewhurst, But To Bury Him

This is one of the reasons I consider politics the only Reality TV show worth watching.  While more regularly scheduled shows like Survivor or The Bachelor offer us endless opportunities to feel better about ourselves by watching people demean themselves, we are conscious of the fact that it is all scripted, and thus, phony.

 

In politics, though, you get to watch real the real thing.  You get to see Hillary - when challenged about her version of the death of four Americans in Benghazi - loudly declare "what difference does it make?"  You also get to see her reaction as she realizes that those awful words just came out of her mouth at a congressional hearing.  You get to see Barack Obama squirm, endlessly, as he repeatedly is forced to qualify all his previous qualifications about whether you get to keep your doctor or not, period.

 

You get to watch Harry Reid, desperate to divert attention from the complete failure of his Senate caucus to accomplish anything despite having deprived Republicans of cloture, go off on a bizarre months-long diatribe against the Koch Brothers for doing exactly the same thing that rich people of his acquaintance do with impunity.

 

So, turnabout being fair play, it only makes sense to shine a spotlight on a Republican who ventures into the same weeds.  My friends, I give you the current holder and 2014 candidate for the position of Lieutenant Governor of the great state of Texas: David Dewhurst. 

 

To The Editors:

 

Regarding "Leaking Patrick’s health records jolts race" (Saturday Front Page), Lt Governor David Dewhurst's claims not to have had a hand in the matter might barely have passed the smell test except for one thing: his snarky and contradictory statements on the matter.  First Dewhurst blamed it all on primary opponent Jerry Patterson, declaring that Patterson operated "completely independently of my campaign".  Curiously, he still felt compelled to remind us that Patrick's medical records were "all part of the public domain.”

You can let go now, David

His personal statement was the topper: “My heart goes out to Dan and his family for what they’ve endured while coping with his condition".  Dewhurst clearly thought he was being clever in dusting off Patrick's problems with depression nearly 30 years ago and making them a present day issue.  Whether he released the records or not, his carefully worded disclaimers and willingness to capitalize on his opponent's misfortune simply reinforces the picture he has painted of himself in the past month as a desperate political hack, willing to do or say anything to remain in office.

 

Pete Smith

Houston, TX

 

And in conclusion, is there any chance this Mutt will pull a Charlie Crist?  We can only hope.

George Herbert Walker Bush - Democrat Door Mat

Regarding "Bush honored with ‘courage’ award for unpopular tax hike as president" (Monday Newsmakers), perhaps former President George H.W. Bush recalls how Democrats treated him in the 1992 campaign, as opposed to the way they are treating him now.

 

Today they declare Bush "courageous" and praise his bipartisanship, but in 1992, candidate Bill Clinton took Bush's infamous broken promise of "no new taxes" from the 1988 campaign, and Beat Bush like a rented mule with those words.  Bush's willingness to abandon the principles of the Reagan Revolution so divided his party that Democrats also managed to win 62% of all congressional seats with only 52% of the popular vote. 

 

Now Democrats are praising Bush because he broke a promise.  Generally, people don't consider such a thing to be praiseworthy.  They shouldn't this time either.

 

Pete Smith

Cypress, TX

Race Baiting In America

I didn't think that Racism In America could get more interesting than Clippers owner Donald Sterling saying things that made him look - as Kareem Abdul Jabaar put it - like an "irritable plantation owner". That was until, in response to Sterling's rant to his black girlfriend, the inevitable Race Pimping began.  The Usual Suspects all came out, of course, and did The Sharpton: 

"See you at the Awards banquet Don"

The condemnation was swift, universal, vitriolic, and unfortunately for all these black celebrities,  mere days before Sterling was to have received his second Lifetime Achievement award from the L.A. chapter of the NAACP.

Oprah Winfrey: "It feels like a plantation mentality in the 21st century.  In 2014, it just doesn’t fit, and I'm waiting to see what they’re going to do, because something has to be done.”  I get it Oprah, I get it: I too am waiting impatiently to see what is done because something has to be done; and as everybody knows, when something must be done, I am validated in demanding that it be done.  First things first, though: What the Hell are you and Kareem talking about with the plantation references?  Does anybody believe that back in the days of slavery that the White Massah would whine to his slave mistress about parading her Mandingo lovers at the Cotillion, much less tell her it was OK to cheat on him as long as she was discreet about it?  And who in their right mind could believe that Sterling's mistress was being held in some kind of involuntary servitude? 

As to your insistence that "something has to be done", call me a crazy cynic, but I think that "something" will turn out to be Sterling being forced to sell the Clippers to you at a bargain basement price.

Whoopie Goldberg declared herself "very happy about all of this (Sterling's punishment), because I'm personally looking for a kerbillionaire to help me buy this team. I'm serious because there are no women who own any NBA teams or no teams anywhere seem to be owned by women."  Crappy grammar aside, could she be a bigger hypocrite?  If I may summarize her position: "It's time for the NBA to let a woman own a franchise; that woman should be me; I don't have the money; a man should step up and buy it for me."  I swear, next thing we know, she'll be putting the back of her hand dramatically to her forehead, declare she has The Vapors and insist that Rhett do something about it.

And Whoopie passing judgment on Sterling as a racist might be a little less ironic, were it not for the fact that she herself is the biggest collector of what is known as "Negrobilia", 19th and early 20th century artwork and figurines that are unimaginably offensive in their portrayal of the physical characteristics of blacks.  I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that Donald Sterling is not a collector, but rest assured that if he was, the NBA would ban him from owning a franchise.   

Barack Obama responded to the matter by saying "The United States continues to wrestle with the legacy of race and slavery and segregation...."  He was of course in that bastion of racial tolerance, Malaysia, and speaking of the United States in the third person.  How cool is it to be a prominent Democrat politician and be able to go to foreign countries and trash the U.S. like you're Hugo Chavez?  Pretty damn cool is the answer, judging from the frequency with which the likes of Obama, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and John Kerry do it, but as with the comments of Oprah and Kareem, what is he talking about?  By what tortured logic does any of this have to do with segregation or slavery? 

This does provide me another opportunity to play my favorite game though, which is to recommend that people read Obama's words, rather than listen to them.  Take away that pretty face and his admittedly formidable oratorical skills, and you discover that the words coming out of his mouth are not only incoherent, but insipid to boot.  Seriously, read a transcript of any prominent speech he has ever made.  As to matters of race, he is a wind up doll, or as I have famously referred to him: "A TelePrompTer Addled Hand Puppet."

And then, there's Snoop Dogg.  I literally am at a loss for words, but he's not.  You're going to want to click the link and listen for yourself, though.  No word on whether the Dogg is putting together a consortium to buy the Clippers, but P Diddy is. 

And finally, what would any public spectacle of this sort be without the inclusion of the Reverend Al Sharpton who himself threatened to start a boycott of the NBA unless they suspended Sterling "immediately".  Can you imagine the butt hole pucker that rippled through the NBA player community when he went down that road?  Can you imagine how quickly Sharpton was advised not to go there again?  Predictably, he has not repeated the demand; Say what you will about Al Sharpton's many faults, drying up the money pot is not one of them. 

And all that said, I guess we should be grateful that Sharpton has distinguished himself by being one of the few prominent black critics not using his blackness as a justification to be the next owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.  Then again, the Long Play has never much been his specialty.  As Grifters go, Sharpton is much more comfortable with the Short Con.

Which brings us to former black superstar and current NBA executive Larry Brown, who responded to Sterling's remarks by calling for an all black league with all black ownership.

Set aside for a moment how purely racist such a demand is: how much more out of touch could he be with his black brothers and sisters.  Let's take a case in point close to home, my Houston Rockets.  I guarantee you that Rockets superstars Dwight Howard and James Harden think Brown is crazy because Rockets superstars Dwight Howard and James Harden looove teammates Chandler Parsons, Jeremy Lin and Omar Asik, who collectively are a virtual rainbow of non-blackness, and all of whom stepped up their games in the playoffs, in particular picking up the slack for Harden, who has been terrible in post-season play for three years in a row.

Larry Brown's premise is that banning the likes of Parsons, Lin and Asik would be a smart thing to do.  I take him at his word, but even assuming he overrides the objections of, like, 99% of the black players in the NBA, if he was being consistent, he would also insist on a league with all black fans. That way, the average attendance at games would be about 27 people.

Let's see him cover payroll with that business model.

And of all the things that Larry Brown could have used to illustrate racism in the NBA, the comments of Donald Sterling would seem to be pretty low down the list.  Case in point, in the past decade, the average cheap seat at NBA games has gone from $20 to $50. Ironically, the highest priced cheap seat in the league at $125 is at New York Knicks games.  The Knicks are Larry Brown's employer. So there you go: including parking, refreshments and one beer each for Mom and Dad, a family of four can experience the New York Knicks from the cheap seats for a measly $700.

So Brown works for and promotes the interests of a team and a league that uses a government sanctioned monopoly to insure that people of modest means can't afford a ticket; that includes 95% of his black brothers and sisters - which likely explains their near complete absence in the stands at Knick basketball games.  See, the average black family doesn't call $700 "a night out"; they likely call $700 "a month's rent and utilities", but then again, so do about 200 million white people.

So there IS big time discrimination going on in the NBA, and Larry Johnson is one of the prime enablers.  The funny part of this story is that, while the rest of us, black or white, reacted to Sterling's comments by agreeing he's a putz but then otherwise getting on with our lives, scores of black celebrities like him and Oprah - all scions of the Democrat Party - are milking it for personal gain or media exposure.  But don't take my word for it; seek out the perspective of blacks who are not celebrities, like this guy:

It immediately puts this whole sorry affair in perspective, and for me, that perspective is this: The overwhelming majority of Rich Democrats, black or white, have no perspective, and no sense of humor. 

Thank God so many average folk - black and white - do.

Stop Talking Larry Brown

I didn't think that Racism In America could get more interesting than Clippers owner Donald Sterling saying things that made him look - as Kareem Abdul Jabaar put it - like an "irritable plantation owner". That was until, in response to Sterling's rant to his black girlfriend, the inevitable Race Pimping began.  The Usual Suspects all came out, of course, and did The Sharpton: 

"See you at the Awards banquet Don"

The condemnation was swift, universal, vitriolic, and unfortunately for all these black celebrities,  mere days before Sterling was to have received his second Lifetime Achievement award from the L.A. chapter of the NAACP.

Oprah Winfrey: "It feels like a plantation mentality in the 21st century.  In 2014, it just doesn’t fit, and I'm waiting to see what they’re going to do, because something has to be done.”  I get it Oprah, I get it: I too am waiting impatiently to see what is done because something has to be done; and as everybody knows, when something must be done, I am validated in demanding that it be done.  First things first, though: What the Hell are you and Kareem talking about with the plantation references?  Does anybody believe that back in the days of slavery that the White Massah would whine to his slave mistress about parading her Mandingo lovers at the Cotillion, much less tell her it was OK to cheat on him as long as she was discreet about it?  And who in their right mind could believe that Sterling's mistress was being held in some kind of involuntary servitude? 

As to your insistence that "something has to be done", call me a crazy cynic, but I think that "something" will turn out to be Sterling being forced to sell the Clippers to you at a bargain basement price.

Whoopie Goldberg declared herself "very happy about all of this (Sterling's punishment), because I'm personally looking for a kerbillionaire to help me buy this team. I'm serious because there are no women who own any NBA teams or no teams anywhere seem to be owned by women."  Crappy grammar aside, could she be a bigger hypocrite?  If I may summarize her position: "It's time for the NBA to let a woman own a franchise; that woman should be me; I don't have the money; a man should step up and buy it for me."  I swear, next thing we know, she'll be putting the back of her hand dramatically to her forehead, declare she has The Vapors and insist that Rhett do something about it.

And Whoopie passing judgment on Sterling as a racist might be a little less ironic, were it not for the fact that she herself is the biggest collector of what is known as "Negrobilia", 19th and early 20th century artwork and figurines that are unimaginably offensive in their portrayal of the physical characteristics of blacks.  I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that Donald Sterling is not a collector, but rest assured that if he was, the NBA would ban him from owning a franchise.   

Barack Obama responded to the matter by saying "The United States continues to wrestle with the legacy of race and slavery and segregation...."  He was of course in that bastion of racial tolerance, Malaysia, and speaking of the United States in the third person.  How cool is it to be a prominent Democrat politician and be able to go to foreign countries and trash the U.S. like you're Hugo Chavez?  Pretty damn cool is the answer, judging from the frequency with which the likes of Obama, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and John Kerry do it, but as with the comments of Oprah and Kareem, what is he talking about?  By what tortured logic does any of this have to do with segregation or slavery? 

This does provide me another opportunity to play my favorite game though, which is to recommend that people read Obama's words, rather than listen to them.  Take away that pretty face and his admittedly formidable oratorical skills, and you discover that the words coming out of his mouth are not only incoherent, but insipid to boot.  Seriously, read a transcript of any prominent speech he has ever made.  As to matters of race, he is a wind up doll, or as I have famously referred to him: "A TelePrompTer Addled Hand Puppet."

And then, there's Snoop Dogg.  I literally am at a loss for words, but he's not.  You're going to want to click the link and listen for yourself, though.  No word on whether the Dogg is putting together a consortium to buy the Clippers, but P Diddy is. 

And finally, what would any public spectacle of this sort be without the inclusion of the Reverend Al Sharpton who himself threatened to start a boycott of the NBA unless they suspended Sterling "immediately".  Can you imagine the butt hole pucker that rippled through the NBA player community when he went down that road?  Can you imagine how quickly Sharpton was advised not to go there again?  Predictably, he has not repeated the demand; Say what you will about Al Sharpton's many faults, drying up the money pot is not one of them. 

And all that said, I guess we should be grateful that Sharpton has distinguished himself by being one of the few prominent black critics not using his blackness as a justification to be the next owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.  Then again, the Long Play has never much been his specialty.  As Grifters go, Sharpton is much more comfortable with the Short Con.

Which brings us to former black superstar and current NBA executive Larry Brown, who responded to Sterling's remarks by calling for an all black league with all black ownership.

Set aside for a moment how purely racist such a demand is: how much more out of touch could he be with his black brothers and sisters.  Let's take a case in point close to home, my Houston Rockets.  I guarantee you that Rockets superstars Dwight Howard and James Harden think Brown is crazy because Rockets superstars Dwight Howard and James Harden looove teammates Chandler Parsons, Jeremy Lin and Omar Asik, who collectively are a virtual rainbow of non-blackness, and all of whom stepped up their games in the playoffs, in particular picking up the slack for Harden, who has been terrible in post-season play for three years in a row.

Larry Brown's premise is that banning the likes of Parsons, Lin and Asik would be a smart thing to do.  I take him at his word, but even assuming he overrides the objections of, like, 99% of the black players in the NBA, if he was being consistent, he would also insist on a league with all black fans. That way, the average attendance at games would be about 27 people.

Let's see him cover payroll with that business model.

And of all the things that Larry Brown could have used to illustrate racism in the NBA, the comments of Donald Sterling would seem to be pretty low down the list.  Case in point, in the past decade, the average cheap seat at NBA games has gone from $20 to $50. Ironically, the highest priced cheap seat in the league at $125 is at New York Knicks games.  The Knicks are Larry Brown's employer. So there you go: including parking, refreshments and one beer each for Mom and Dad, a family of four can experience the New York Knicks from the cheap seats for a measly $700.

So Brown works for and promotes the interests of a team and a league that uses a government sanctioned monopoly to insure that people of modest means can't afford a ticket; that includes 95% of his black brothers and sisters - which likely explains their near complete absence in the stands at Knick basketball games.  See, the average black family doesn't call $700 "a night out"; they likely call $700 "a month's rent and utilities", but then again, so do about 200 million white people.

So there IS big time discrimination going on in the NBA, and Larry Johnson is one of the prime enablers.  The funny part of this story is that, while the rest of us, black or white, reacted to Sterling's comments by agreeing he's a putz but then otherwise getting on with our lives, scores of black celebrities like him and Oprah - all scions of the Democrat Party - are milking it for personal gain or media exposure.  But don't take my word for it; seek out the comments of blacks who are not celebrities, like this guy.  It immediately puts this whole sorry affair in perspective, and for me, that perspective is this: The overwhelming majority of Rich Democrats, black or white, do not have the milk of human kindness in their souls, and the last thing that would ever occur to them would be to forgive Donald Sterling or endeavor to reform his racists views. 

Thank God average black folk do.