Vengeful Clerks - US Gov't vs. Roger Clemens, Pt I

Check out this recent picture of Roger Clemens, now four years removed from pro Baseball. Looks like the same old Roger, doesn't he?

Now compare that to present-day pictures of Barry Bonds, who looks as if he's suffered from a tapeworm since leaving pro ball himself in 2007. Bonds is a mere shadow of his former self, as are dozens of other pro athletes suspected of steroid use. OffHisMeds' question is: if Roger was on steroids or Human Growth Hormone, why didn't he shrink?

Only a government employee could love the whole premise for the Feds pursuing criminal charges against the likes of Clemens. It goes something like this:

"Sure, Major League Baseball Owners looked the other way while Sluggers took steroids and jacked home runs to the moon, and yes, we looked the other way too, mostly because the Owners were big campaign contributors and otherwise promised to hire our worthless relatives and provide us box seats in their taxpayer-subsidized palaces.

But see, we all got our tit in a wringer when the Public started asking questions, so we had to do something. So what we did was to knock the dust off of yet another retired and near-fossilized Democrat Senator and let him head up a commission to get to the bottom of this whole thing. And so the Mitchell Report was born.

This whole thing could have been swept under the rug if we had been allowed to make an example of a handful of high-profile players when some genius pointed out that it looked like we were picking on Hitters. So as to balance the scales we needed a Pitcher to kind of even things out. Where things got all bunged up was when Clemens decided to get all ornery and refuse to admit that he used Performance Enhancing Drugs.

After he publicly denied using steroids, we figured we'd ratchet up the pressure by forcing him to submit to subpoenas and grand jury testimony, but then he went ahead and didn't say what we wanted him to say, which left The Public with only three possible conclusions: 1) We were in the pocket of the Owners; 2) We were bumbling idiots; 3) Roger Clemens was a criminal for lying to the Federal government.

And here we are in yet another pickle, but as fate would have it, our own moral turpitude and imcompetence provided yet another opportunity to milk the taxpayer like a dairy cow, thus ensuring the future employment of hundreds if not thousands of teat-sucking bureaucrats, enfranchised to create and sustain yet another oversight committee, in perpetuity.

So all in all, we took some lumps, but came out smelling pretty good."

Roger Clemens is far from a role model morality and ethics-wise speaking, but at least the things that come out of his mouth don't make you laugh out loud, as do the proclamations of the Windbags that are prosecuting him.

It is also of excrutiating significance that not a single Owner, President of Operations or Manager has been called before Congress or a Grand Jury to testify under oath as to whether they promoted or enabled the consumption of Performance Enhancing Drugs by MLB players.

The politicians pursuing this and the Baseball Owners hiding behind their skirts deseve to be held in the greatest comtempt. They are a bunch of Mutts, and unless they can completely rig this game, as they did baseball during the Steroid Era, Clemens will not be convicted.