A Financial Report From Al Qaeda, Pt II

From: Ali Abdul Hassan Jihad - Chief accountant

To: Certain Unnamed Leaders Of Al Qaeda

Subject: Addendum To Annual Report For FY2010-2011 - Additional Expenses For The Infidel

All praise to Allah The Merciful and may his blessings flow. Your Humble Servant Ali Abdul Hassan Jihad wishes to report on other substantial expenses that we have inflicted upon The Great Satan, may the wombs of his Handmaidens shrivel as they dance in revealing clothing at decadent American Topless Bars, particularly Centerfolds in Boston on LaGrange Street, which features a lunch special of steak, crab legs and freshly tossed salad for only $5.99, and where the dancers give you an honest lap-dance at a reasonable price.

Or so I am told.

As the exalted Osama Bin Laden has said: "We will not defeat the Great Satan with weapons; we will not defeat him with blood, not even the blood of a million Holy Warriors. We will defeat the Great Satan by using his institutions of law and governance against him. We will let him spend himself to death".

The substance of this report deals with the most recent fronts opened in the financial war against the Unbelievers, dealing with the various costs imposed on the Den of Filth that is America.

MILITARY PRESENCE

Occupation costs for the army of The Crusaders are projected to be $1.25 Trillion from 2010 to 2014, based on advance budgets provided to us by several of The Faithful employed within - as the Devils refer to it - the "non-partisan" Congressional Budget Office. If I may be permitted a moment of levity, how madly did we laugh when this report reached our hands. "Non-partisan"; Oh ha ha ha!

As to this valuable information, I have instructed our Operatives within the CBO to cease and desist from lecturing their fellow employees about the evils of Democracy, handing out business cards that include a job description title of "Soldier of Allah", or threatening to blow up government buildings. This applies, of course, only to The Faithful at a government rating of GS-10 or above.

From prior experience, and factoring in the disruptions we have scheduled, the actual cost for FY 2010/2014 for the Occupation will total $2.25 Trillion, inclusive of Iraq, Afghanistan, and - Allah Be Willing - Pakistan. This equates to a non-inflation adjusted annual outlay of $450 Billion US per year!

DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY

911 continues to pay some very nice dividends. The Depart Of Homeland Security budget will increase from it's present level of $55 Billion by at least 15% per year through FY 2014. This valuable information was provided by several of The Faithful employed in their Accounting department, including a senior aide to the execrable Janet Napolitano.

On a related note, our PW (Psychological Warfare) division reports a handsome ROI from the Underwear Bomber in demoralizing the populace, with new restrictions on air travel within America including but not limited to: a) restricted bathroom privileges on all flights; b) a "visible hands" policy; c) restrictions on all forms of recreation; and d) restrictions on the sale of alcohol. Within the airports themselves, additional indignities now include the mandatory palpitation of the genitalia of all travelers - including children and the elderly - by airport screeners. As one of our GS-14s within the DHS put it: "The Unbelievers are molesting themselves!".

The cost to the Americans of these humiliations is incalculable.

INCARCERATION

Based on reports from members of The Faithful on the staffs of Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Attorney General Eric Holder (may they embrace in a molten pit), we can now predict that the cost of incarcerating one Fighter in the United States is $9.75 million US per year. Based on current projections, incarceration of only 1,000 of The Faithful per year will cost the Great Satan almost $10 billion per year. Based on current projections, within ten years, the US would be housing 10,000 fighters at a cost of $97.5 Billion per year.

And Blessed Be The Prophet, one of our Operatives is a Lead Prosecutor in the trial of Khalid Sheik Mohammed, having secured this position through the scholarships extended to FALN terrorists released by AG Holder in 1999.

Adjusted for inflation, the annual expenditure in these three departments alone will total $542.5 Billion by FY2014, or more than $5,000 per household in the Land of Satan. To ensure these outcomes, the PW Executive Committee recommends a 20% per annum increase in funding for George Soros (may his eternity be spent in the company of his Peers) through the next two election cycles.

Allahu Akbar.