A Telephone Conversation Between Spock and Khan

"Khan, look, I know what a pain he can be. No, trust me, you only have to deal with him once every decade, I have to deal with him every day.

No, yours is the superior intellect........It is. No, don't you doubt it for a second; I mean, come on, what's your IQ, 195, 200? 210 you say? Very impressive. Between you and me, I don't think he's very smart. No, really........ No, I don't know if he's ever taken the standardized test. No, I'm not saying test results aren't conclusive, I'm just saying he never took one. I'm pretty sure he dodged it on the entrance forms to Starfleet Academy as well. He called it the "Kobiashi Maru". What does that mean? Well, to hear him tell it, there is no "no-win" scenario. Yes, he actually got a commendation for original thinking. I know, I know, the world IS upside down when cheating on your entrance exams is held up as some kind of higher virtue. Look, I don't doubt it for a moment. Who am I to judge? If I was confronted with such unfairness, I'd probably start my own civilization too. All I'm saying is, don't over-react. You're letting him get under your skin and I think that's affecting your judgment.

He did what? With your wife? Ohh, I wasn't aware of that. In your house? In your BED? That's unfortunate, but I can assure you that I'll be submitting your complaint to Starfleet Human Resources. Between you and me, there's been several reports of, how shall we say, "impropriety" in his conduct while on duty. No, the regulations are unambiguous on this point. When he wears the uniform, he represents the Federation. He's got several Conduct Unbecoming citations already, and his Employment Councilor has made it very clear that such actions on his part will not be tolerated.

All I'm saying is, you can't over-react to everything he does. He said what? Oh my. No, no that's not appropriate. No, it's not. Well, you're just going to have to trust me; "all's fair in love and war" is not official Federation policy. Well just because he said it doesn't make it true. No, no I'm not saying you don't have cause, all I'm saying is, don't get caught up in this Tit for Tat with him; just because he violated your wife while you were in the other room doesn't justify you blowing up the Mining Settlement on Alpha Beti Prime. That's kind of excessive don't you think? He did what to her? How many times? Oh my, how is that even possible? Oh, she's Cetarian, I didn't know that.

Khan; Khan; I've said it before, I'll say it again: yours is the superior intellect. No, I cannot give you the plans for the Genesis Project, but I will be passing on your concerns to my superiors; I understand you've got hostages, Khan, but let me ask you a question: while you're running around trying to destroy civilization, do you know where he is right now? That's all I'm saying Khan; Cetarians are no different than other women except, of course, for the fact that their skin is an erogenous zone. What I'm trying to tell you is that if you were to stay home and pay a little more attention to her, that this wouldn't be an issue.

OK, Khan. OK. He'll get a stern warning, for sure. You have a good day. OK, Bye Bye".